Monkeys Beware!
Monkeys all over the world are expressing increasing concern about the risks to monkeys from the Canary Flu that is claimed to be sweeping through the canary population. Symptoms are said to include:
- Incessant twittering
- Greying of the feathers
- Tendency to hang out with Kitties
A representative of the National Audabon Society contacted by MMN to comment on this dreadful scourge replied “There is no such thing as Canary Flu and it wouldn’t affect monkeys anyway”, but clearly this is fake news pushed by bird-lovers who hate monkeys anyway.
We talked to monkeys to find out how scared they were of this growing epidemic. G of Flemington said “I haven’t seen any sick birds and I really like Baby Birdie and hope she doesn’t go into hiding again”, but our reporter could see that G was clearly terrified and constantly looking around for sick canaries. M of Flemington (a remarkably handsome and clever monkey) said “Enough is enough! It’s my room, and if I don’t want annoying yellow birds around they should just go to the lovely bird house I made for them.” When pushed for more information M replied “Canary flu? Oh yes – monkeys should be protected at all costs! Who wants to wake up with canary boogers on them?”
MMN will provide more on this breaking story as we make it up.
I don’t believe that this actually exists if it is why don’t more canary’s have it I find this extremely suspicious
How dare you question our article!!! We researched the topic for three minutes before writing it!
Admit it – you’re a bird loving human aren’t you?
No your a monkey lover SIR and aren’t you friends with baby birdie
Sounds like a new wave of bird flu… monkeys better beware!
As a completely normal human with no links to handsome monkeys I find the comment from so called “Amelia” to be embarrassing to all humans. I support brave independent news sites like this
I think this is just an excuse to get the canary out of bed
I think this is just an excuse to get the canary out of bed 🐵