New Monkey Health Scare!

MMN correspondents are very concerned about a new health problem sweeping across the nation. Monkeys are reporting pounding headaches, blurry vision, sensitivity to noise and light, and a desire to sleep. 

Apparently unrelated to the virulent Canary Flu, there is no obvious cause of these symptoms though there are unconfirmed reports of empty beer bottles near the affected monkeys.

Our Health Editor recommends monkeys reporting these symptoms should take a day off mischief, get some sleep and stick to fermented banana juice in the future.