Barbarism!

Barbarism!

Shocking stories have been heard that the barbaric trade of selling monkeys has once again reared its ugly head! It doesn’t seem to be enough that serving apes don’t cater to the needs and whims of their honored guest, now they are seeking to make a quick...
Santa Unmasked

Santa Unmasked

A deeply disturbing document was provided to MMN exposing Santa Claus, the self-titled “Father” of Christmas, as a monkey hating bigot. At this time of year when most honest folks are looking forward to good company, libations and copious yellow fruits the...
Ask Annie

Ask Annie

Mischief Monkey News is happy to have our friend and Agony Aunt Annie return to offer advice and insights to your pressing concerns! Call 1-800-MNKY-HLP to talk to her. First caller is from M from Flemington: My so called “friend” is emotionally...
Easter Weather Forecast

Easter Weather Forecast

Today will be a beautiful spring day, perfect for monkeys to kick back, enjoy a fermented banana juice and watch humans rush around. Highs around 73 and clear skies, except for strong localized storms that seem focused on the loud, smelly wolf thing. Monkeys should...
Urgent Health Bulletin

Urgent Health Bulletin

New Monkey Health Scare! MMN correspondents are very concerned about a new health problem sweeping across the nation. Monkeys are reporting pounding headaches, blurry vision, sensitivity to noise and light, and a desire to sleep.  Apparently unrelated to the virulent...