{"id":77,"date":"2025-04-06T15:49:43","date_gmt":"2025-04-06T15:49:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mischief-monkey.com\/news\/?p=77"},"modified":"2025-12-28T14:02:55","modified_gmt":"2025-12-28T14:02:55","slug":"urgent-health-bulletin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mischief-monkey.com\/news\/urgent-health-bulletin\/","title":{"rendered":"Urgent Health Bulletin"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2>New Monkey Health Scare!<\/h2>\n<p>MMN correspondents are very concerned about a new health problem sweeping across the nation. Monkeys are reporting pounding headaches, blurry vision, sensitivity to noise and light, and a desire to sleep.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Apparently unrelated to the virulent Canary Flu, there is no obvious cause of these symptoms though there are unconfirmed reports of empty beer bottles near the affected monkeys.<\/p>\n<p>Our Health Editor recommends monkeys reporting these symptoms should take a day off mischief, get some sleep and stick to fermented banana juice in the future.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"post-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.mischief-monkey.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/monkey-sleeping.png\" alt=\"monkey-sleeping\"><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>New Monkey Health Scare! MMN correspondents are very concerned about a new health problem sweeping across the nation. Monkeys are reporting pounding headaches, blurry vision, sensitivity to noise and light,&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":166,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-77","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health","category-monkey"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mischief-monkey.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mischief-monkey.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mischief-monkey.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mischief-monkey.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mischief-monkey.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=77"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.mischief-monkey.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":172,"href":"https:\/\/www.mischief-monkey.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77\/revisions\/172"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mischief-monkey.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/166"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mischief-monkey.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=77"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mischief-monkey.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=77"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mischief-monkey.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=77"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}